True love

Have been watching this program called "Take me Out" but the Chinese version of it - "Fei Chang Wu Rao" recommended by my mum. I have to admit I was quite attracted to this program. It is a reality TV show of 24 female contestants vying to find their 'throb-hearts' men (xin tong nan ren) as often quoted.

I was intrigued by the courageous men whose hearts were stolen either by seeing the particular female contestant on TV or on stage, so boldly step out to confess their love, despite knowing (for some of them) that they may be rejected in front of hundreds of live audiences and millions of TV viewers all over China and beyond.

The female contestants is not less brave too. Week after week, they continue to come and some even waited for months just to find that particular man that she believed to be the destined man of her life! One after another single male contestants comes and goes and yet, the female contestants were getting excited at the first sight but their opinions quickly altered depending on how well the male contestants do and present themselves.

I can see that some women have completely different criteria and perspectives of what their 'ideal man' should be while some maintains the typical "responsible, caring, sensitive and family man" category.

There were much emotions involved too, often with lots of laughter but in some occasions, tears of compassion, regret and frustrations. I am just so amazed how these contestants open up their deepest feelings and emotions without restrain in front of so many audiences, most of them they hardly knew.

They all have a common goal- to search for their one true love. Some claimed they believe in destiny. Some called it fate. Others put their faith in their feelings, the first feeling or intuition to command their destiny. Nevertheless there are some who are playing it safer; giving it a try and see where the relationship/friendship will lead to.

I believe in destiny. Because I believe in a God who holds my destiny if I allow Him to. I am extremely thankful and blessed to have found my first and true love who is now also my husband. I have never fallen in love but when I did, it happens to be the man that God has intended for me. I love the way He works so beautifully in His timing!

He is the best husband that i could ever prayed for. Because he is the gift from my Father in Heaven who only gives the best gifts to His children! :) 

I pray that these contestants do not only find their true love but also the One who loves them and knows them by name.

Grow up!!!

This is something that I almost wanted to shout at one person who really challenges my patience this week. Just could not understand why this person is still like a child, not that this person has child-like faith, but just pure childish immaturity. I give up! Fuh!!

Then I stopped short and remembered my frustrated senior used to say the exact same phrase in the past.

I was surprised and asked the usual cool and calm sister in Christ  as to why have she lost patience to which she replied, people just would not want to grow up!

I didn't understand her frustration then but now I do.

I supposed when one is in a position of leadership, he/she does feel more responsibility on the flock that he/she is overseeing. Okay, the he/she is me! I know that You are teaching me grace and patience with people. You have been so patient and graceful with me so I need to show the same to others. It's not easy but by Your grace, I shall overcome! Just let not my heart be hardened and bittered by what people say or do. Ultimately, it is for You that I am living for. As much as I do not know what to do, I know I am surrendering it all to you. That is the most important thing that I need to realise, that I cannot change the heart of men, only You can.

Nevertheless, let me love, love and love! Let me continue to receive so much love from you and to continue to give it away. Thank You, Father! With you, I can do it! :) I surrender all my burden, frustration and this person to You. Have Your way, O Lord! I love You!

God's Smuggler

Have recently started to read an amazing book entitled God's Smuggler by Brother Andrew.

Below is the summary from the back cover of the book:

"Following the rise of Communism after the Second World War, Christians behind the Iron Curtain had never felt more alone. Persecuted for their faith, they wondered whether they had been forgotten by their fellow Christians around the world. 

But God was calling a young Dutchman, Andrew, to be his ambassador to the faithful. Smuggling a few, then hundreds, then thousands of Bibles across dangerous borders and into needy hands, he risked his life time and again to bring hope tho those who needed it most."

I have started the first chapter and I can't help but to blog about it already. Just the sort of book that I love to read, real story, inspiring, mindset changing and most of all, challenging my Christian faith to grow more in Him. 

Brother Andrew, as he likes to be called, is an ordinary person, son of a village blacksmith who has never been to any colleges or university.

It's so typical of our God, He loves to use the unlearned but humble and faithful people. We don't need a diploma, a degree, a master, or PHD to be used by God. All that required is just a willing heart, yielded to Him and humbled enough to be used by our God Almighty. This is something that challenges me, to allow Him to change my mind set and my heart so that they are so in tune with His Spirit that whenever He speaks, I hear and I obey, no second guessing of whether it is from God or not.

Will continue to blog as I read more of this book:) 

Presence of the Absence

I am not talking about the Ancoats Peeps' project which involves transforming the ex-cotton mill town without demolishing the richness of her history, I am thinking of something completely different.

I have just been recently thinking that there are so many invisible things that are the outmost important. Our 5 senses can only tell us so much and yet so many things are happening under the detection of our senses.

Unfortunately, we depend too much on what we see, taste, hear, smell and touch. We do not easily trust in the things unseen. This is where many of us fail to have faith, including the Christians.

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

This means that I can no longer solely trust my eyes, ears, hands, nose and tongue. They are given to help to enhance our sensitivity but they are not the means to an end themselves. Faith is to be certain of the presence of the absence. To know through the eyes and ears of our hearts, if I can say that. I guess that is why the Bible keep encourages us to not let our heart to be hardened to see and to hear what the Spirit has to say.

This is why God is so BIG on faith. "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek him."

If I say I want to live a life pleasing to God, I must have faith. I must learn to have faith. However, faith does not come easy. Faith needs to be tested to know whether it is genuine. Everyone can claim to have faith but only when trials come, the truth is revealed. Still, faith is the key to His heart.

But the reward is this, those who trust (depended, relying on, have faith) in the Lord, are like Mount Zion which can never be shaken. No bad news will stop them from continuing to stand firm in their faith. Even to the end of their life will they breath victory. That is the bride that God wants His Church to become. A body whose senses are they eyes and the ears of their hearts, who live and walk by faith, not by sight. 

Pondering on my life ever since I became a Christian, my faith has been continued to be stretched by my Potter. There are times of doubts and unbelief, yet my Father in Heaven is ever so faithful and patient with me, constantly teaching me to trust in Him more and more.

I used to be a worrier. I worried about most things. Just like Martha, I can get very anxious and annoyed when things are not done properly or according to the way that I wanted it to be. I wanted to excel in my studies, to be a good daughter, sister, grandchild, niece, student, you name it. I have always wanted to give my best but I did not know how to do it without having the fear that I would fail and indeed I did fail; a lot of times, miserably.

I would be angry with myself, I would be frustrated, because I was not able to meet the high standards that I set for myself. I could see perfection and I would strive towards it but I did not realize that I could never be perfect; not without His saving grace that makes me perfect through Christ Jesus.

Faith has taught me many things. I learn to trust in times where there is nothing visible to trust in. I learn to hope even when everyone tells me otherwise. I resolved to only obey my Jesus and not any other pre-conceived ideas or plans that I have. I wanted so much to know faith, to walk in faith and not just to read about faith.

Even now, every so often, fear, doubts and anxiety try to kick in, sometimes they succeed but I continue to learn to shut them out (thanks be to my God who gives me strength and the grace to victory) by speaking into beings the promises of the word of God. Nothing happens without prayers; and prayers, I have learned need to be prophetic. There is no point hoping, moaning, or begging because our God is a generous and willing God. He is waiting to answer our prayers that is in line with His will, to bless His children so they can be a blessing and to see the best for us.

Hence the famous saying; Prayer is the key but faith unlocks the door. Faith is what make the naturally impossible, possible and I need to live by faith.

Change

I know it's been ages! :p

Life is good (although not without challenges of course), but God is faithful is all I could sum up for the past one year of my life, the latter, for the rest of my life :D

As a married woman now, many things has changed, I guess this is perfectly normal as everything in this world changes all the time. Nothing stands still, the landscapes of the earth change, the atmosphere changes, the climate fluctuates, the cultures, you get the drift.

But one thing remain, God does not change, His love for us is constant, it does not run out. He does not have mood swings, His mood is good all the time, He is stable, dependable, trustworthy. He is my Rock of salvation.

Someone told me that married life suited me as she commented on the change that she noticed in me, she saw the glow and the bliss. I think I agree with her. If you would have asked me a few years earlier, I would beg to differ. I would have said I could do well without getting married. I thought I did not need anyone and I could serve the Lord whole-heartedly without distractions.

However, my Father in Heaven knows me best. He knows my deepest desires, He knows what suits me most. One of the many things I learned through my walk with my Saviour is that often, we thought we know best, we thought we knew ourselves very well but actually, we don't. The best thing to do is to say, "Lord, here I am, mould me, change me and use me." This is also the most 'dangerous' thing to say because the Lord hears our words and He means business. That is why many are not aware why things start to change and everything does not go according to what they would have liked it to be. They are not aware that God is using those situations and circumstances to shape us and transform us to be more and more like Jesus everyday.

Change is vital for our Christian walk. If someone comes to me and said, "You have not changed the slightest!" then I truly need to examine myself, whether I am truly walking the talk. There is no way that I can stay the same if I want to become more like my Saviour. Change is imminent. 

Not many people are a big fan of change. Change can be very daunting, uncertain and confusing. Some took a bold step forward but after a few steps, they withdrew as they are suddenly out of their comfort zone, out of control and their usual rhythmic life-styles. Nevertheless, if we are filled with the dynamic Spirit of God, we need to make a decision, to allow God to take over every areas of our lives, our futures even in the uncertainties, our attitudes - our norms, our thoughts, our habits and what nots. It is for the bold, the heroic and not for the coward, hence the verse God did not give us a Spirit of timidity but of power, love and self discipline (2 Tim 1:7) and this is in fact who we are! Fear and doubts may come, but we can now drive them out with power, love and self-control.

We are victorious, being transformed from one degree of glory to another. Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through Christ Jesus.

I pray, Lord that You will continue to help me to be more like Jesus, give me the boldness and courage to trust in You even in the uncertainties of life and to allow you to lead me always throughout the days of my finite life here in this world.

Thank You Jesus :)